The Elusive Art of Balance

  Everybody wants it.  We see it on TV, in movies, read about it in books (well, maybe not all the time in books), and envy our friends and family members that seem to have it all.  What is this IT that no one can seem to obtain?  Quite simply put, it's balance.

  Cue the orange juice commericial - a sparkling clean house, nutritious food on the table, Mom's make up on, kids are dressed, laughter all around as Dad snags a quick kiss from Mom...and she just smiles and waves.

  What type of pressure does that place on the Moms of today?  We pretty much figure we can't do it all, so we end up on meds or head to a shrink to tell us that we just need to accept the place that we are in at this particular point of our lives. (Insert quick note I am shrink and med free.  I'm too stubborn to have someone tell me how to fix things and too frugal to pay for meds.)

  Yet here I am, throwing a quick blog post together - I mean, dinner is done, dishes are washed, kids are occupied...anyone walking into the house at this very moment would probably envy ME!  ME, the one who didn't manage to get her make up on, glossed over the "S" word (schoolwork), and our bed sheets still haven't made it back on the bed (it's laundry day, too), all while I'm trying to talk the eldest out of a dog that he doesn't need!

   I suppose we all put on this amazing act when we walk out of the house.  Or should.  OK, let's say you don't.  I think I'm up to 75% confidence, 50% of the time.  There is still this part of me that wants to hide under a ball cap with the big shades...JUST so NO ONE looks at me!!  I am a walking, talking, "faking it BIG time" unbalanced person.  Not freaky unbalanced, but edging towards major nerdy and existing inside a very scrambled brain.

  Oh, I've got most of the routine down.  That's helped me balance.  I have kids to do the dishes, we have the coffee pot programmed the night before, and the dogs go out three times (cough, cough, 10) times a day.  Mike gets breakfast, lunch, and dinner every single day...some days I jokingly refer to myself as a kept woman.  I make sure that everyone gets some "alone" time - especially me.  I read so much that I am still locked within the pages of a great novel days after I've completed it.

  I don't know, I guess that deep down I understand that no one has it all.  Every person I meet is a writhing, whirling, mass of passion and angst that just hides it really well under that cup of coffee and newspaper.

Making it Work

Being a full time wife and mother is not an easy task.  I have so many friends that work full time outside the home and always tell me, "I don't know how you do it, I'd go crazy" or "I'd end up in prison because I'd kill someone." (That second statement came from one of my dear New Yorker friends...so brutally honest, but refreshing.)

When I worked full time, I felt like nothing was ever 100% done.  It was as if I were a pie and a third of me went to household chores, a third of me focused on full time work, and a third of me had to be shared by Mike and the kids - guess that's a sixth, but I'm no math major.  It was a lose-lose situation.  I wasn't the top salesperson at work because I was concerned about Christian and which college he was going to attend.  I was angry that Severn was dealing with bullying at the middle school.  I wasn't preparing the most nutricious meals at home...PB & J and grilled cheese were staples in our home last year, in fact not prepared by me at all, but by Miranda.

This is what I decided to change by working my business out of my home this past year.  I have dedicated days to making phone calls and mornings are dedicated to emails.  While my business is still growing, I wanted to conserve cash flow, so I clip coupons on Sundays and compare ads.  I plan out my week so unnecessary driving has been cut down.  We eat at home pretty much everyday, so those fast food runs are few and far between.

I wanted to build my relationship with Michael so that we can celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary and our children and grandchildren will say, "That's what I want!"  Basically, I changed how I look at him.  I see this most amazing man who makes me laugh.  Sometimes, he says things that don't make me laugh, but make me feel like I've just been tickled -have you ever felt like that?  We talk about EVERYTHING - even if it's trivial.  For example, yesterday the topics were,  How do you Discipline your Daughter when She's a Teenager? and I Know who Would have My Back in a Fight even at this Age (Chris and Darren, here's to you!)

And I am now probably the most consistent mom you'll meet when it comes to my kids.  Christian gets to talk with me several times a week.  I am putting the finishing touches on my masterpiece, this beautiful person that we were blessed to raise, by building him up to be a man of integrity and honor.  I encourage Severn and Miranda to make wise choices in food daily.  And personal hygiene.  And being a good friend. And learning something new everyday.

How does my pie look now?  It's still in thirds, but routine and consistency have brought it all together.  I thank God everyday that He has given me this opportunity to do what I am best at.  Being a wife, a mother, and business owner - and having the enthusiasm to do it all well!!